Living in the moment

Yesterday afternoon I was given a wonderful gift. My husband sweetly suggested that I go out for a few hours all by myself. I've been very emotional the past few months over everything going on in our lives and have started to take it out on him and Connor. So I left the house shortly after lunch time. I went to Barnes & Noble (one of my favorite places in the world) and lazily browsed the aisles. I looked at many, many books but chose 3 of the most promising. I wrote down a bunch more titles to look up in the library. I was definitely amazed at how many vampire books were on the main display tables; a tribute to the success of the Twilight series I'm sure. Then I made my purchase and proceeded to drive down roads I haven't been down before. 

I made my way through tree-lined streets and a neighborhood I hadn't seen before. I finally found myself in a little park that had a small play-structure and some swings. I sat down on a swing and started to read. The sky was cloudy with the promise of rain later. I could hear birds chirping and the occasional car passing by. It was very relaxing and allowed for a bit of introspection. 

I've been having a hard time adjusting to the whole stay-at-home thing. I've always been a busy, busy person and find it hard to turn off the need to always be doing something. Maybe it's because I know that I will end up sitting on the couch watching tv or being on the computer most of the time. But I really don't know how to just enjoy the moment. Hence why I read. It fills the time. It allows me to explore without exerting much energy. And it allows me to ignore what's going on around me. 

Anyway, I've been trying to simply be happy in the moment. But it's hard. I think I'm going to start writing down what I want out of every day and then seek to actually do it. I'm tired of waiting for life to happen to me. I need to make it happen.